Chapter 1

I had been trying for a baby with my husband for three years—with zero luck. 

Then, one day, I took a prenatal vitamin in front of my bestie, who's a doctor. 

She grabbed the pill bottle, frowned, and crushed one into powder between her fingers. 

"This isn't a prenatal. It's birth control."

Her words sent a chill down my spine.

I immediately sent the pills for lab testing. 

Turns out, I had been taking birth control for the past three years. 

Pills that Lucas Harrison gave me.

Every single time before we were together, he'd coax me into swallowing one. 

I was about to confront him with the test results when a message popped up in our mutual friends' group chat—sent by Scarlett Bennett. 

The photo?

A pregnancy test, bold and bright, with two dark pink lines. 

[Babe, wanna make a bet?] 

[Do you think we're having a little Lucas or a little Scarlett?] 

[I'm betting on a little Lucas.] 

Two minutes later, she pretended to be flustered. 

[Oops, sorry, guys. Sent that to the wrong chat.] 

[Can't unsend it now, so just… pretend you didn't see anything.] 

I let out a bitter laugh, my last shred of guilt vanishing in an instant. 

I finally replied to the one that got away—the man I should have never left. 

[One month. I'll come with you.] 

The group chat went dead silent. 

Then, someone finally broke the ice. 

[Well, well… congrats, I guess?] 

[When did you guys get married?] 

[You didn't even tell us! We should've been there to celebrate.] 

Someone sent a money transfer labeled as a wedding gift.

Others followed suit. 

Scarlett played coy, adding two blushing emojis. 

[Aww, thanks, guys. But don't make a big deal out of it, okay? Just pretend you never saw it.] 

[Come on, we can't ignore it. Even if we didn't get invited to the wedding, we're still friends.] 

[Exactly. You two finally got together—we have to give you our blessings.] 

This group was full of Lucas' college buddies. 

After we got married, he had added me, saying, "These are my close friends."

"You should get to know them."

When they asked who I was, all he said was: 

[A friend.] 

[A friend? Then introduce her! Maybe one of the single guys here would be interested.] 

Lucas stayed silent.

So did I. 

I had been a silent observer in this group ever since. 

Back then, Scarlett had even scolded them.

[Don't act so desperate just because a girl joins the chat.] 

[If you want a girlfriend, go get one yourself.] 

The Harrison and Sinclair families were both old money.

Our families had been planning a grand wedding for us, but Lucas had brushed it off. 

"I'm at a critical stage in my career,” he had said.

"I barely have time for a simple wedding, let alone a grand one."

"Let's talk about it later."

Later never came. 

Five years passed. 

I had long given up on the idea of a big wedding.

If it happened, great.

If not, whatever. 

Lucas' friends had no idea he was married.

Let alone the fact that he hadn't married Scarlett—the girl everyone thought was his perfect match. 

The chat kept buzzing.

My phone screen stayed lit in my grip. 

I stared at it, cold and numb, as tears rolled down my cheeks, my soul breaking with every drop. 

For a fleeting moment, I hoped Lucas would say it was all a lie. 

That it wasn't what it looked like. 

But despite all the notifications, the man at the center of it all—who was being tagged over and over—never said a word. 

Scarlett accepted the money transfers. 

[Thanks, everyone! Consider this a little gift for the baby.] 

[Once the baby is born, we'll throw a party and invite you all!] 

[You all better show up! Baby says thanks in advance~]

Scarlett had made her decision—they were having the baby. 

A suffocating weight settled on my chest.

I pushed open the window, desperate for air. 

Standing on the balcony, I took deep, shaky breaths, but my heart still felt like it was being squeezed. 

The cold wind numbed my face, and after a while, I finally calmed down.

I took screenshots of the group chat, then quietly left the group. 

I was still sitting in the corner of the balcony, lost in thought, when Lucas did something unusual—he came home early. 

He pulled me up from the ground and shut the window. 

"It's freezing. Sitting by an open window in the middle of winter—you trying to get sick?"

I stared at him.

He was adjusting my clothes like he actually cared, but something about him felt… off. 

Like a stranger. 

Was it guilt? Did he feel even a little bit guilty for what he'd done? 

I flinched away from his touch. 

"Don't touch me."

He hesitated, then finally met my eyes.

Chapter 2

His expression shifted—like he was dealing with an unreasonable child. 

"Oh, this is about the group chat, isn't it?"

He sighed, his tone light, like he was explaining something trivial. 

"Emily, before we got married, we agreed—this was just to keep our parents happy, right?"

"They're happy with the way things are. I'm happy."

"So what exactly are you unhappy about?"

Our marriage was never about love. Just obligation. 

The Harrison and Sinclair families had been close for generations.

But while our parents were practically family, Lucas and I barely knew each other. 

I had studied abroad in high school while he stayed behind.

We never talked, never kept in touch. 

Then, when I returned, our parents decided we were the perfect match. 

They pulled every trick in the book—crying, threatening, guilt-tripping. 

"This is the best decision for both of you!"

"We've paved the way for your future, and you're telling me you'd rather struggle?"

"That boyfriend of yours? Forget it. Over my dead body."

"Unless your father and I drop dead, this marriage is happening."

They were relentless. They took our credit cards, confiscated our phones, even stationed bodyguards outside our doors. 

Their only job? Making sure Lucas and I couldn't escape. 

In the end, I broke up with my boyfriend.

Gave in. Let them win. 

Right before we got our marriage license, Lucas had told me coldly, "Guess we're in this together. Just play along, and don't take it seriously."

I knew his heart belonged to Scarlett. 

But I never thought he'd be this blatant about it. 

Cheating was one thing. 

But secretly drugging me with birth control for three years—so I wouldn't get in the way of his real love life? 

It was disgusting. 

It was unforgivable. 

I took a deep breath, then asked the question I already knew the answer to. 

"So you're keeping this baby?"

Scarlett wouldn't have accepted all those wedding gifts if Lucas hadn't given her the green light. 

She wouldn't set herself up like that unless she was absolutely sure. 

Lucas clenched his jaw.

"Emily, I want a child."

My hand moved before I could think. 

The slap echoed through the room. 

It was all so ridiculous. 

I laughed—ugly, bitter laughter that mixed with my tears. 

Then I turned and stormed into the bedroom. 

The test results were still on the desk.

The lab report. The hospital's diagnosis. 

I grabbed the papers and hurled them at him. 

"Lucas, read it yourself.”

"You've been giving me birth control, haven't you? Disguised as folic acid."

Lucas froze, his hands trembling as he flipped through the test results over and over. 

His voice shook.

"Emily…"

"You fed me birth control pills for three years."

"And now you tell me you want a baby?"

"If you were so set on having a kid with Scarlett, you could've just told me."

"I would've helped you keep it from our parents."

"But instead, you tricked me. You lied to me."

"I can accept a lot of things, Lucas. But I won't accept you hurting me."

Looking back on the past five years of our marriage, it all felt… surreal. 

For the most part, we had kept a respectful distance.

But there were moments when things got complicated. 

Sometimes, after a few drinks, he would cling to me, his voice warm and slurred— 

"Babe, do you think we're happy? Cause I do."

Then he'd pull me in even closer. 

I'd try to make him sober up, but he'd just shake his head, tugging me back down. 

"Nothing works better than you staying right here with me."

At first, I wasn't sure if he was mistaking me for someone else. 

But over time, I stopped caring. 

I let myself enjoy those fleeting moments, let myself believe they meant something. 

He had his ways of making things feel real. 

On holidays, he played the perfect son-in-law, charming both sides of the family. 

He would wrap an arm around my waist in front of my parents and say, "Don't worry, Emily's amazing."

"Marrying her is the best decision I've ever made."

And even though I knew it was all an act, a small part of me—one I hated—wanted to believe it. 

That maybe, even if we weren't in love, we could at least be family. 

But he had been feeding me birth control for three years, watching me take those pills without a word. 

If my bestie hadn't noticed, I would've kept taking them. 

Lucas' grip on the reports tightened.

His hands were shaking now, his gaze unfocused. 

His voice came out hoarse, barely a whisper.

"I didn't want to upset you."

"Just stop taking them from now on."

That was it. 

No apology. No regret. 

Just an excuse. A way out. 

Chapter 3

I let out a bitter laugh. 

Was he really worried about hurting me?

Or was he just afraid that if I knew the truth, I wouldn't go along with his plans? 

Lucas' selfishness, his hypocrisy—it was suffocating. 

I felt sick. 

"You think this is easy to brush off?"

My voice wavered, anger and heartbreak twisting in my chest. 

"Do you have any idea how many nights I lost sleep, thinking something was wrong with me?"

I yanked the medical report from his hands, jabbing a finger at the results. 

"The doctor said my hormones are completely out of balance."

"That after taking birth control for so long, I might not even be able to have kids."

"You only care about having a baby with the woman you love.”

My breath hitched.

"Did you ever stop to think that I might want that too?"

"Well, congratulations, Lucas.”

I wiped at my face, but the tears just kept coming.

"You don't have to worry about drugging me anymore."

"I probably won't be able to get pregnant anyway."

My whole body was trembling now.

The weight of it all crashed down at once. 

"But it doesn't matter.”

My voice broke. "Because we're done."

"I hate you, Lucas."

After the lab confirmed what was in those pills, I went straight to the hospital to get checked out. 

I had held onto a sliver of hope.

That maybe, just maybe, it wasn't too late. 

But when the doctor looked at me and said, It'll be difficult for you to conceive in the future— 

That's when the hatred started. 

Now, it had consumed me. 

I turned, walked into the bedroom, and locked the door behind me. 

Just as my computer screen lit up. 

Another message from Jason. 

He had been waiting for me overseas for a long time. 

Ever since we broke up, he had sent me an email every single week. 

And just like always, there it was—this week's message. 

I wiped my face hastily and forced myself to focus. 

Inside the email was a blurry image of a black hole.

"The folic acid you gave me... it was birth control, wasn't it?" 

Lucas suddenly looked panicked, clutching both reports in his hands, flipping them back and forth. 

His voice trembled.

"Emily..." 

"You fed me birth control for three years, and now you're telling me you want a baby?" 

"If you were so desperate to have a kid with Scarlett, you could've just told me."

"I would've helped you keep it from our parents." 

"But instead, you disguised birth control as vitamins and tricked me into taking them." 

"I can handle anything—except you hurting me like this." 

Looking back on my five-year marriage to Lucas, it all feels... surreal. 

Most of the time, we were just polite roommates.

But there were moments—brief, fleeting moments—where it felt real. 

Sometimes, after he'd had a few drinks, he'd cling to me, whispering over and over: 

"Baby, do you think we're happy? Cause I think we're happy." 

Then he'd hold me tighter. 

I'd go to the kitchen to make him coffee to sober up, but he'd pull me back.

"Nothing sobers me up better than you right here with me." 

At first, I wasn't sure if he was imagining someone else when he held me. 

But after a while, I stopped questioning it.

I let myself believe in those moments. 

He knew how to play the part. 

On holidays, he'd charm both sides of the family. 

He'd wrap an arm around my waist and reassure my parents, "Don't worry, Emily's amazing." 

"Marrying her was the best decision I ever made." 

And even though I knew he was just acting, sometimes I'd let myself believe that fate had already decided our future. 

Maybe not as lovers, but at least as family. 

But he was cruel. 

Cruel enough to watch me take those pills for three years and say nothing. 

If it weren't for Claire, I never would've found out. 

His fingers shook as he held the report. His gaze was unfocused. 

His voice came out strained, like the words were stuck in his throat.

"I just... I didn't want you to be upset." 

"You don't have to take them anymore." 

Two short sentences.

No apology. No remorse. 

Just cowardice. 

I let out a cold laugh.

So, were you worried about me being upset?

Or were you just scared that if you told me the truth, you wouldn't get what you wanted? 

Lucas's selfishness, his deceit—it was all laid bare. 

And it made me sick. 

"Lucas, do you have any idea how much I blamed myself?"

"How much I tortured myself thinking something was wrong with me?" 

I slowly took the hospital report from his hands, pointing at the results. 

"The doctor said the hormones in my body are completely out of balance from all the birth control."

"I might never be able to have kids now." 

"You wanted to have a child with the person you love."

"Did it ever occur to you that I had the same right?" 

"Well, congratulations."

"You don't have to drug me anymore—I probably can't get pregnant anyway." 

My voice cracked.

More tears fell. 

My whole body shook from the weight of it all. 

"But it doesn't matter."

"Because there is no ‘us' anymore, Lucas. I hate you." 

The moment I saw the test results, I made an appointment to see a doctor. 

I needed to know the truth. 

And it was just as I feared—I couldn't escape the damage those pills had done to my body. 

When the doctor told me that my chances of conceiving were slim, I started hating Lucas. 

Now, that hatred has reached its peak. 

I will never forgive him.